COPING WITH LONELINESS
One of the hardest things to cope with in life as a single is loneliness. It can become an emotion that can drag you into depression, if you allow it to get the best of you.
Loneliness can be worse for people who have been around others all their lives, and then all of a sudden they are alone. It can be caused by divorce, death of a spouse, child, parent, grandparent, or it can occur when losing a job.
Other things, such as failure at something, heartbreak, separation, sickness and many more problems can tend to bring on depression. Finances are a major cause of stress and depression, until they are straightened out.
DON’T WITHDRAW
The best way to cope with loneliness is to stay active and don’t withdraw. Sure, there is sadness and you want to be alone, but don’t do it all the time. Balance your life between work, recreation, family, friends, and spiritual needs.
Withdrawing from friends or relatives and feeling sorry for yourself can cause serious emotional problems. The ambition to do things you once enjoyed, may have been lost. Now, you don’t know what to do with yourself do you?
Your spirits may be low and sadness has set in. Negative thoughts tend to creep into the mind. Hopelessness, inadequacy, and insecurity may be on your mind. Your self-esteem and self-confidence could reach a new low level.
Be quick to identify the symptoms and try not to let them get the best of you. Seek professional help if this tendency continues to exist.
SAY NO TO CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY
A chemical deficiency or emotional upset can cause depression. You can overcome it with professional help, or the help of friends and relatives. Don’t give up. Analyze your situation and take a good look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? If you don’t like what you see, set about to make changes to improve it. Don’t procrastinate!
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY
Get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you are going to have a wonderful day. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Think highly of yourself. A positive attitude can do wonders for your outlook on life. Rebuild or maintain your self-confidence and self-esteem through a positive attitude.
THE STORY OF GEORGE
One day while sitting on a bench in a shopping center, I saw this person walking towards me. There he was, all six foot two inches tall, wearing a big, black cowboy hat, golfing knickers and plaid socks. As he approached, I saw a big smile on his face. When he got near, I said “hello.” He responded, with a warm grin, “hello.” As we entered into the conversation, I learned he was seventy-eight years old and told me he was still working part-time and was an avid golfer. One conversation led to another, then he began to talk about his smile and happy attitude. You could just feel the excitement in his voice when he told me this story.
He said, “Every year I go to South Carolina to play golf. Last year when I was there, this woman approached me and began talking.” She said, “I remember you from last year.” He didn’t remember her, but didn’t say anything. The she told him, “I remember your smiling face and the warmness in your voice.” He said he smiled at her again and said, “I get a great enjoyment in my life being friendly and always smiling.” Later in the conversation, I learned he had no health problems and was a fun loving individual who had a very positive outlook on life.
Perhaps you could have this as one of your new goals in life. If so, write it down and post it on the mirror in your bathroom. Look at it each day, and reaffirm your desire to have a good attitude. Above all, be positive and show your radiant smile to others. You can do it!
TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME
Remember to live and take one day at a time. You cannot do anything about yesterday and tomorrow is another day. Keep yourself occupied doing the things you enjoy the most.
Find friends to talk and be with. Don’t let four walls close in on you. Network with people who have a positive attitude in life as it will do wonders for you.
Try to plan your days with a full round of activities. It is hard to concentrate if you happen to slip into depression. You may have to force yourself to keep your mind in a positive mode. If your mind wanders to the negative thoughts, immediately try to revert them to positive things. Sure it is hard to do at times, but not impossible, if you really try. Just concentrate and keep telling yourself, I can do it.
Always have a purpose for your day. Those little negative self-pity thoughts have a tendency to creep into the mind, so find things to do at night and on weekends with friends or relatives. The nights and weekends can be devastating when alone. Try listening to soft music and pray to GOD for help.
USE YOUR TIME WISELY
There are one hundred sixty-eight hours each week and twenty-four hours in each day. Provide yourself with activities you enjoy to keep yourself busy.
EAT REGULARLY
Many people who are depressed fail to eat regularly and go without meals. The body tends to slow down without proper food and water. Don’t sit and brood over negative situations because it will only get worse. Eat a well balanced diet of fruit and vegetables. Either do it at home or go out to a restaurant. Better yet, share it with a friend. This may be hard to do at times, but it’s not impossible. Many people have done it before you and there is no reason you cannot do it too.
EXERCISE IF YOU CAN
Some people fail to get proper exercise and their bodies seem to slow down. If you are capable of exercising, do so. Set a time each day to walk, or some other form of exercise. Consider purchasing a treadmill to walk on inside if the weather is bad. Many shopping malls encourage people to walk within their facilities. Use this as a means to meet other people. If you are a runner, schedule time in your week for this exercise. The main thing is to keep your mind and body active. If you are handicapped and can’t exercise, find those activities you can do if possible.
In all cases of exercise, see your doctor before starting or restarting an exercise program.
CONSIDER VITAMINS
Your doctor can advise you on any vitamins that may be required to help you overcome depression or any other medical problem. If he cannot help, seek other professional help.
YOUR SELF-IMAGE
Your self-image is so important to retaining self-confidence and self-esteem. How you think about yourself on the inside will show on the outside. People can pick up your mood changes in the tone of your voice over the phone or in person. Others who know you are quick to recognize your moods. How you walk, how you talk, how you dress, how you feel about your self-image are all key factors in a positive attitude.
It is important to maintain contact with friends and or relatives. Many women develop a network of other women to talk about their problems and emotions. Men tend, in many cases, to stand alone, or seek the affection of a person of the opposite sex. Many have found that friend and others never do. The necessity of having someone to talk to can mean the difference between a temporary or possibly a deep depression. Remember, you must keep yourself upbeat and as happy as possible. You can do it!
Try to surround yourself with positive people and if those you talk to are negative, use your influence to cheer them up. Sometimes this will rub off on you and your spirits may improve and will make you feel better.
A purpose in life is so very important to your health and peace of mind. Analyze what your purpose may be in life. Is it to help yourself or others? There is a reason you are here on earth. Do you know what it is? Sometimes you may wonder what you are here to do. Are you happy at what you are doing? Would you be happier at doing something else with your life? If so, you need to work on making the changes. Rework your goals in life and always remember to never give up.
Create your own happiness and not loneliness!
Go for it! You can do it!
From our book, “Creating Your Own Way to Happiness
by Robert Bruce and Lee Ann Kirby
